August 12, 2011

Yes, it's been a month over a month since my last post. And yes, I'm the biggest slacker. Kind of...
And yes, this post isn't necessarily crafty. But read it anyway or you can't leave my blog. Serious...the browser won't let you. Maybe.

I seriously don't know how other blogger moms and professionals do it. I seem to be drowning in my 'to do' list, and I feel seriously lame that I can't keep up with the things I used to. I have cut back permanently on my wedding shoots, sure that would give me extra time. It hasn't. Yet.

I guess my question is how do you do it? I want to do EVERYTHING but can't seem to find the time for anything. I feel guilty if I spend too much time on the computer; I feel like I am not spending enough time nurturing my daughter.

Button has this sort of squishy face that she has begun to use, which at times is hilarious and at times is kind of gargoyle looking. 

Yep, that's the one.

I assumed she got it from my husband, but I looked in the mirror when she and I were playing in front of it laughing, and realized the face came from me. Rather than be depressed that I suddenly realized I looked like a 1st century statue while happy, I was really overjoyed that something I did was rubbing off on her. Then I was kind of panicked that some of my other less desirable personality traits might be being absorbed. I've since made sure that I control myself when I have sudden urges to be crazy. I am fearful of the day that she can talk, while I don't swear or anything like that, I'm not sure 'awesome' should be used as every other word.

I realize that I know very little about parenting. Button has already face planted thrice (hard) because apparently she 'moves'. She also thinks its hilarious to spit out every bit of pureed food that makes it into her mouth, all over me. She thinks its hilarious because rather than stopping her, I can't stop myself from laughing. She has been taught to raise one eyebrow in a 'How YOU doin' sort of manner. Because it's funny. She gets left at the in laws from time to time because I think taking a baby on vacation or to necessary gatherings is equivalent to pushing bamboo shoots up my fingernails. She is in a diaper most of the day, and usually doesn't get dressed unless its completely necessary we go somewhere. In fact, that kind of goes for me too. Minus the diaper.

BUT, she knows she's loved. And she is. More than I can even express. I never thought motherhood would be like it is. I never thought I'd ever grow so attached to something so gross at times. I never thought a simple giggle could make me happier than an all inclusive trip to the Bahamas. I never thought I could miss something so little so much when I'm away. I never thought that I'd be content laying on my stomach blowing raspberries on hers. I never though I could even do it: be a mother.

But I am. And while I epically fail so many times, the important thing is that I just keep going. I may never do anything perfectly, but I'm perfect at attempting. I look up to so many women who have done so much- many who are stay at home moms, many who are work at home or outside of home moms, many who aren't 'moms' at all. I think that whatever we can or can't do doesn't define us. I believe that it's who we are, who we are attempting to be that does.

 I know that there are many trials or problems that we have to overcome, many things that maybe we feel like we can't. Sometimes we feel judged, sometimes we feel overwhelmed, sometimes we feel like we are on top of everything one day and the next we fall off the wagon.

Regardless of who you are or what you aren't, know that you are loved. By family, by friends, but most importantly by God. You are important, no matter how low you feel at times.

Anyways, forgive my ramblings. And forgive my lack of creative blogging. I promise I have been working on things.....ish. I recently redecorated and 'flipped' my parents camper (heck yea baby), made a bajillion headbands for Newborn shoots, and have recently been trying to sew, like really sew. Now that my business is slowing down, I'll finally be able to really start blogging again. So stay tuned! hahaha, please? 

Until then here are some squishy and oh so adorable newborns (and headbands) to keep you company. 

 Sigh...Love this image. Loose rolled flower with pearl center and feathers out the back, super easy! Maybe I should write some tutorials for these...
 She is so gorgeous.... diaper cover from Sweet Kiwi Crochet
 I found these little wedding flowers at Hobby Lobby for $.08 a bunch. On clearance. Seriously eight cents. So I clipped them off the stems and glued them to a felt circle with craft pearls in the spaces. 
 Headband made of dollar store flowers you can buy in bunches at the dollar store, just take the flower of the wire and reassemble with hot glue. Craft pearl in the middle. 
 Headband made of layered flower and feathers. Simple tutorial for the flower is here
 Love him...
 Got these newborn cheesecloth wraps from MomMe Designs
 Hat by Sweet Kiwi Crochet. LOVE.
 I got six of these chairs for $15 at a yard sale. Boo ya. We weren't planning on a new dining set, but I guess we are now! We found a table we want to build at, so I'm excited to get the before and after's up, since we will be refinishing the chairs. 
The link on how to do this rolled flower is over at Tatertots and Jello, but now I can't find it. Meh. Added some netting as well.

Hope your weekend is fabulous! If you want to hang out over at pinterest, I'm here. If you want to see my fun photo shoots those are here. Hit me up if you have any questions, photography is...awesome. ;) 


Kara @ Mine for the Making said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE them all! You are a very talented. Love all of the headbands :)

Jessica :) said...

You know, it really does seem easy to let life get away from you. I never used to think of myself as a "professional" or working mom, but reading your post made me realize that I am {just in a different way than you - I teach voice lessons}. Lately I've been feeling so busy and wondering a lot about how other women do it "all". I've come to the conclusion that they don't. There has to be something they let go. I guess my problem {like you} is that I want so badly to do everything {mom, teach, hobbies, learn, wife, keep house/yard, be involved in church, community, etc., etc.}. But I'm learning that I have to be okay with not doing everything. Perhaps unfortunately, the thing that usually gets let go is my kitchen. But I'm working on that. ;) I have found that it really helps me to have a detailed schedule so I don't let the minutes run into hours before I know it. Seems to help a little.
Anyway, I love the newborn shots! Such beautiful babies! And the headbands are gorgeous! I'd love to see some tutorials {when you get a spare few of those minutes ;) }.

Jami said...

Camilla, I totally know what you mean! I feel like if I give myself a little bit of time our house falls to pieces, particularly into piles... It's just so frustrating... But then I realized that I NEED the time because it lets me think of other things than those that constantly cloud my every thought.. especially the horrific thoughts about my baby L getting my not so lovely traits instead of the ones I want him to have so badly... All in all though I do my crafting or internet searching or tv watching during nap time... which wasn't consistent until he was about 4 months old... hang in there! You'll figure it all out! :D You know our mom's went through the same struggles, the problem is though, sometimes they forget that they did... and that's just the beauty of it... we get so caught up in our sweet loved ones lives that we forget the trials and only remember the bliss! Fantastic pictures by the way :D

Amy at Ameroonie Designs said...

I love the pictures. Hang in there- life is crazy but sweet. I agree with Jessica- no one does it "all". Do what matters most to you- and leave the rest. Even if it's different than what others do- just be true to yourself, let your spirit guide you and you'll be on track. As for the things we teach our children? Well, My kids mutter under their breath at bad drivers, fly off the handle when they get over tired and sometimes forget to pick up after themselves (and their dad has taught them some stuff too). It comes with the territory. They know they're loved, and God makes up the difference.

Melina said...

So with you on this post. I just got back from a PTA meeting, the bank (for the PTA), dropping off a baby I was babysitting through all that, and Costco. (after, of course, getting the older kids off to school and exercising, a little) And as I haven't yet put all the groceries away I'm feeling guilty. What is it about us women that we think we have to do it all, and do it all perfectly? Good luck to you with the never-ending search for balance, and always feel free to vent/gab/rejoice in the positives with a friend (like me ;) 'cause I think that's what helps us get through it!

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